Updates
In response to the comments & emails left over the past three months, I offer these updates:
- I'm still short.
- I'm still out of shape, though I did purchase an elliptical machine and have begun to use it. I'm still working up to a respectable amount of time per workout, but I'll get there. No reason to throw myself into full cardiac arrest in the first few weeks, right?
- Christmas was fine, but I've made a point to not spend a lot of time with the elder generation of the family since then. I think I'm waiting to see if the layer of teeth I ground away is going to regenerate. I'll post about my ... uh ... what's the word? ... disconnect from the holiday later.
- work is busier than a two-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs with no sign of letting up. I'm getting my "define my own position" ass totally kicked. I still adore the people I work with. I didn't think this many kind, intelligent and funny people would be gathered in such a small place.
- Sparkycus and I are going to WA state next month to see my older sister for Easter. I'm totally stoked!
- Living is too expensive! I'm considering finding a way to downsize. I want to shout, "I'm sorry ... I was wrong ... I DON'T need a big house!" to the heavens. Man, lesson learned.
- I'm paying much closer attention to my finances. Holy shit, do I spend a lot of money on nothing. (do caramel lattes really count as "nothing"?)
- My dear friend Vicky from Florida is sending me a plane ticket to visit her in September (for my birthday.) The last time I was there, I discovered a place to totally and completely be myself in all of my chunky white-girl glory. I drank Cuban coffee and burned my bod on the beach. I salsa'd with complete strangers and gaped at Saul and Maury from Jersey.I played pool with Equadorians and picked up some great Venezualan recipes. Since each winter seems to get longer and longer, I am inclined to think that Ft Lauderdale/Miami is where I'd consider heading once Sparkycus is setting off into his own wild blue yonder. I can't go back to the desert ... that would probaby kill me. Every time I fly into Vegas to visit "back home," I get physically ill looking out the window. All of that brown makes me want to stick a cactus needle in my eye.
- My "Nanny" died in January. My mother's mother, she fought and beat lung cancer for the last two years. When I questioned my mother's statement of "Nanny didn't want anyone to come out" (when all three of us girls live spread out all over the US and they're in the Vegas area), she exploded. I am greatly shamed to say I responded in horrid fashion and she hung up. (which was probaby a good thing ... things escalate quickly between us) She then called my older sister to tell her to tell me to not call her. It's been more than a month and I don't even know if the heart attack my grandfather suffered three days after my grandmother's passing still has him confined to the hospital. (Mom hasn't updated either of my sisters.) I don't understand my relationship with my mother. She is the only person I am incapable of dealing with in a sane manner. The relationship is toxic and I don't know how to fix it. I don't think I can. Sometimes I think I'm too weary to try.
- GIRLS are now calling the house for Sparkycus. Too weird! I hope I'm being cool about it, but constantly worry that I'll not see signs of ... I don't know what. Lord help us all.
Y'all be well. Or at least make overt gestures in that direction until your psyche picks up on the idea and can run with it.