Acceptance

I realized there is a great deal of power and peace in acceptance.

I decided to stay and try to work things out with Spartacus but couldn't face publishing on the subject. It makes me feel like a liar, to be so adamant about leaving "this time" and then backing away yet again.

Much has changed within me. Not to say that I've discovered a love I didn't know I had for him, but rather for myself.

I'm still leaving, just not this very moment. I feel a very firm "wait" being said to me. The time is close but not yet at hand. And I'm okay with that.

I've learned to listen to my intution. Since beginning the blind faith of acceptance of things given and shown to me, I find it much easier to function. I'm sleeping better, I feel better, I'm a much nicer me.

I was going to take down all of the in-between posts. Between October's post ... the beginning of all of this-the trip where it all started to dawn on me ... that I am capable, vital and connected and the journey toward making decisions ... and today; I wanted to hide it all. But you know what? It happened. And I'm proud of it because I'm in the game rather than sitting in the stands watching my own life unfold. Just realizing that is a great feeling.

Each day a new and great blessing is made obvious. I've learned that asking and receiving really do go hand in hand. I am grateful daily. Life, regardless of the moment, is wonderful.

More soon.