Teenage Girls and Losing Grandparents

Sparkycus has a girl chasing him. Come to think of it, I don't think he's necessarily trying to get away real hard ...

We'll call her Jessica Simpson. The mother bear in me (who is a serious bitch, by the way) has decided that any girl who comes close to my son before he's a junior or senior in high school is a rabid hyena hiding an inner backstabbing barracuda. I was a teenage girl a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away) and remember pretty vividly that all I wanted to do was 1) experiment sexually with increasing frequency and uh ... "depth" as time wore on and 2) nutty as a squirrel on crack. I don't trust 'em. At all.

On the other hand, I remember what it was like to be able to hang out with your friends, male & female, without your mother hanging over you. That feeling of freedom could not be matched. I also remember what it's like to fall in love the first couple-hundred times.

And thus Sparkycus was just picked up by Jessica Simpson, her mother and her sister. They are on their way to the fair for the day. I armed him with an all-day ride ticket, $25 cash and a cell phone with an invitation to call if he's ready to come home and they're not, or if he'd just like to talk through something. God help me, it's my cardiac arrest or stroke waiting to happen.

I spoke to my grandfather last night. He's circling the drain; no two ways about it. Since my Nanny passed away, he's been in the hospital five times; the latest with congestive heart failure. I asked if he'd like someone from the family to come take care of him and he pretty much said, "hell, no!" That's pretty much my Poppy. Now I'm laden with regret ... never visited/called/wrote enough. Is it too late? Will we ever know the truth of what my mother has told us regarding his or Nanny's wishes? Is he lonely? Does he miss Nanny enough to let go and join her on the next journey? Does he know that I love him? Does he know that I've finally learned to accept that all of those hurtful statements about my weight are forgiven or that they even hurt to begin with? Does he know I finally understand how happy he made my Nanny? Does it hurt? Is he scared? All conversations would have to take place in person ... Fargo to Las Vegas is too far on the phone or in a letter. I've tried to discuss deeper things with he & Nanny before, but both were pretty dodgy. I think they are of the generation that just doesn't talk about their feelings, fears or beliefs unless it has to do with politics.

Spartacus just got up; we must plan the rest of the day.

Everybody call their grandparents. Or your parents. Or your siblings. Or your best friend. Just tell someone you love them.

Be well.

Tie Your Mother Down

"My goodness! Has it really been a month since I've posted?"

Yeah, whatever. I'm busy. Work is so busy I sometimes think I couldn't grab hold of my own ass with both hands and a hotpad it's goin' so fast.

Work is going to have to give at some point; I have WAY too much to do and it's affecting my home "me." I'm useless to the point of not liking myself. Nothing to fret over, I have a bead on a solution.

I continue to read Romani daily. Man, that woman makes me guffaw. Her tales of Hooterville, Caroliney, USA frequently derive muffled snorts from me. (I have to muffle; I usually visit after the fam is in bed.)

Closet Metro also intrigues me. There is something soothing about his musings. I can't quite put my finger on it. Stop over at his place if you're a dog lover. The pictures of his dog, Jack, and stories about his daughter, Dizzle, always put a smile on my face. I'm a little intimidated by his harem of followers, though. Kind of scared to post a comment ... there's a lot of chicks that love that man! Don't want to "pull a Laura" and offend someone!

Listening to Syndicate of Love ... their live album recorded at The Tin Angel in Philly. Not that I've ever been to Philadelphia; I just think calling it "Philly" makes me seem more wordly, LOL. My friends Art & MaryAnn have a daughter going to school there and she turned her Dad on to 'em.

You guys ever just want to close your eyes and wake up to the world you've dreamed up? I'm pretty sure my dream world has domestic help ...

Sparkycus spends his summers volunteering eight blocks away at an outdoor performing arts school. His chosen path is tech work; set building, schematics, a little lighting and a little sound. Usually he rides his bike, but I don't get to see him too much and offered to take him and pick him up after dinner tonight. (yes, the child is so dedicated he works evening hours, too!) When I returned to collect him, they were just cleaning up. In a strange reversal of roles, he put me to work helping him tidy things. Oddly, I really enjoyed it! I'm considering doing a little volunteering of my own a couple of evening hours a week just to be near him. I wonder how else my child can inspire me if I just take the time to truly tune in?

Glad tidings to what must by now be my three readers.

Y'all be well.