Invitations Issued

Spartacus just didn't seem to be detaching. He wasn't giving an sign of accepting that we're splitting up and that the only reason I'm still in this house is because I have no where else to go at the moment.

I talked to a friend about it and she had a great suggestion ... tell him to get a girlfriend.

So I did. At first he teared up some, I'm assuming he was surprised and probably hurt by what he perceived as the suddenness of it. Twenty minutes later, he was asking if I had any leads for him.

Sparkycus' birthday is less than 2 weeks away. His 14th will be marked by having a bunch of friends over ... girls even!

Too tired to be very witty right now, so will leave you to whatever it is you're avoiding doing.

Be well.

I Can't Remember ...

... the last time I snuggled on the couch to watch TV.

... the last good sex I had (with another human being.)

... what a good kiss is like (trust me ... it's not been in the past ten years.)

... why it is I used to shave my legs?

... not feeling guilty about wanting to -and now actually- leaving.

... if I like doors held open for me or not.

... were there rules for dating? How about I just be myself and they can kiss it if they don't like it?

... why did I treat boys like playthings as a teenager?

... why did I think the white picket fence was the way to go?

... why didn't I think marrying the wrong guy wasn't going to catch up with me?

... the last time I slept all night. Maybe I'll go try that now.

Be well. Sleep well. Tell me how to turn my brain off.

Twelve Steps for Assholes?

I find myself yearning to contact people I've hurt in the past and apologize profusely.

I'm not in a program, though if one existed for ever having been an asshole, I could probably hold the presidency.

I like to think that these people quickly got over the pain I caused - that I wasn't really all that important and didn't have a lasting negative effect. I hope that I was an anomaly and they were treated well by women after me - that they trusted women after me.

So to Mickey, Bobby, Michael and Wilson; I am sorry. I hope you are well.