Christmas Away

Since moving here, we've spent every holiday with Spartacus' parents about 20 miles from here. With my family split up and all over the country, it's always made sense. And since we're splitting up I didn't think it right to accept their gifts just before leaving the marriage, so I spent the weekend with a girlfriend in the Cities while Spartacus & Sparkycus trekked to the homestead. Why would I take a weekend filled with gifts and food away from Sparkycus?

From a parental standpoint, it was ... the ... worst ... weekend ... of ... my ... life.

I can't find the words to tell you how terrible being away from him was. I can't imagine how other parents do this every holiday. I think we're going to have to talk about a Christmas Eve and Christmas Day split. I think I could handle that.

My girlfriend was good; a little weepy because it was her first Christmas without her family, but otherwise good.

I also had lunch with an old friend that I was hoping for sparks with. Not only has he not aged well, but there was very little connectivity there. Bummer. I was hoping for something easy. My girlfriend's comment was, "have you noticed that you're always looking for the easy way?" Hmmm ... something to look at.

Today

I've observed a down-swing in things lately. From relationships at work to some things just plain falling to poop, we're definitely on the kinetic side of the roller coaster hill. Or would that be potential since it's downhill and kinetic would be the hardest part going uphill but there's no actual work since it was built up previously? Aargh - my brain is going to break!

That's okay. You know why? Because now I KNOW. I know that the downhill ride won't last forever and that my attitude has a direct effect on everything and everyone around me. I resolve to be authentic, to be in the moment and to control my angst. And friggin' smile, for pete's sake!

After a decade of nothingness, I am SO back!